Musings
Often, when I settle down with a book or article that I find very interesting, I find that I cannot read it. My thoughts run circles around the words on the page and the meaning becomes a confusing mix of mine and theirs.
There never seems to be enough time to think. I'm not sure where all the thoughts come from, but no matter how long I ponder them, I feel that they have not been pondered enough, that I can gain more from just thinking about it a little longer… The problem is that there is so much to think about and so little time. There is so much to write about and so little time. Before the words are on the page, I have something else to write about.
Maybe, if I spend the next year following these thoughts, spending long hours biking and hiking, I will manage to extract some of the wisdom I have been missing in this hectic college life I have been living.
With this in mind, I am beginning to doubt the necessity for me to go to school (especially when the work I'm doing does not make me feel any excitement or passion).
If what I am searching for is wisdom and life skills, why should I be spending time figuring out how to code the rules for Settlers of Catan? This is time that I can spend thinking, or talking to people, or simply spending 5 hours of bliss on my bicycle.
Why am I putting myself through so much grief if I know I don't care about money? If the intent of pursuing a degree is to get a good job, then I'm not sure why I'm here, because my goal is not to get a good job. I want to help people, inspire them, and I want to feel happy and fulfilled.
I know it's cliche to say, but for me, life is not about the end goal-- which society has pressured me into believing is retiring with buckets of money and a large and comfortable RV-- it's about the journey.
There never seems to be enough time to think. I'm not sure where all the thoughts come from, but no matter how long I ponder them, I feel that they have not been pondered enough, that I can gain more from just thinking about it a little longer… The problem is that there is so much to think about and so little time. There is so much to write about and so little time. Before the words are on the page, I have something else to write about.
Maybe, if I spend the next year following these thoughts, spending long hours biking and hiking, I will manage to extract some of the wisdom I have been missing in this hectic college life I have been living.
With this in mind, I am beginning to doubt the necessity for me to go to school (especially when the work I'm doing does not make me feel any excitement or passion).
If what I am searching for is wisdom and life skills, why should I be spending time figuring out how to code the rules for Settlers of Catan? This is time that I can spend thinking, or talking to people, or simply spending 5 hours of bliss on my bicycle.
Why am I putting myself through so much grief if I know I don't care about money? If the intent of pursuing a degree is to get a good job, then I'm not sure why I'm here, because my goal is not to get a good job. I want to help people, inspire them, and I want to feel happy and fulfilled.
I know it's cliche to say, but for me, life is not about the end goal-- which society has pressured me into believing is retiring with buckets of money and a large and comfortable RV-- it's about the journey.
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| The source of some of my best thinking! |
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